Hi, My Name Is Steve. and I Am a Candy Crusholic

I would rethink the spelling of the moniker except I'm doing really good on this level.
  1. •
    The following list is accompanied by shame, regret, and further shame.
  2. •
    But it is the truth. It is my truth.
  3. •
    Time to show my stripes.
  4. •
    Time to unwrap the facts.
  5. •
    I am addicted to Candy Crush.
  6. •
    I've heard it all. It's boring. It's rigged. It's a mom's game. You're wasting your time. You're wasting your life.
  7. •
    Nobody's incorrect. And yet there I am. There I still am. Swiping away.
  8. •
    I know it's a menace. That doesn't stop me.
  9. •
    I'm like Chocolate Boy. I keep coming back.
  10. •
    It started with the original Candy Crush Saga.
  11. •
    I had played Bejeweled casually, like everybody in 2005. Surely this game was nothing special.
  12. •
    Thoughts of an innocent young mind.
  13. •
    Soon my head was filled with geometric patterns begging to be paired.
  14. •
    It fed my competitive side. I swore that with each 30 minute, 5 live interval I better beat at least one level.
  15. •
    Anything less, disappointment.
  16. •
    With the rising complexity grew an even more aggressive drive to win. Who here doesn't remember the first time they (finally) eviscerated Level 65?
    Don't answer that.
  17. •
    Level 100, Level 200, Level 300. Days, weeks, months. Blurred lines.
  18. •
    At Level 343 my phone broke. My entire achievement met an abrupt interrupt.
  19. •
    Sure there were withdrawals in the proceeding days, but I coped. Almost instantly I was clean. In my hands I held a new phone and a new outlook on life.
  20. •
    For a year.
  21. •
  22. •
    Candy Crush Saga: Soda.
  23. •
    I'm on level 478.
  24. •
  25. •
  26. •
    The first step is admission.
  27. •
    First step = color 💣💣ed
  28. •
    You heard it here first: the next step, one life per play. I have to put my phone down right after.
  29. •
    Baby steps. I'm ready to CRUSH that goal.
  30. •
    *Deep breath*
  31. •
    That felt good.
  32. •
    But don't even get me started about this.