That Time I Ended Up on a Road Trip to Scranton, PA

Tangentially inspired by @kaitlynvella at THAT TIME I ENDED UP ON THE SET OF THE OFFICE BECAUSE OF TEEN WOLF, whose experience was infinitely cooler than my own. Seriously Kaitlyn, I'm swimming in jealousy.
  1. There we sat, the first Saturday of Spring Break a couple years back, with zero plans lined up. A week of boredom awaiting a group of three strapping well-humored men.
  2. And lo, at once there came a great wind, and with it inspiration.
  3. Years back another friend and I swore that one day we would make it to Scranton. A place where anthracite flows like wine and Office fans flock instinctively like the salmon of Capistrano.
    I'm low key about it on the List App, but I'm an enormous Office fan.
  4. No itinerary and hundreds of miles ahead of road ahead, yet the decision was instantaneous. An old dream from the old days was about to be fulfilled.
  5. We were going to Scranton.
  6. Like that, we bid normality goodbye and we were off. Jetsetting to our dream destination.
  7. The car was loaded. Pringles, poptarts, and....that was it. Our car was not loaded. We were routinely starving.
  8. We bumped Kanye. His entire discography. We also phased in a Pitbull CD ironically, but a few tracks in the sarcasm was gone and it was a legit jam. The occasional singalong could not be contained.
    We have lost respect from a few of those closest to us. No regrets.
  9. Whoever sat in the backseat manned the GameBoy, and with it, the most intense weeklong Pokemon campaign this side of Wilkes-Barre.
  10. Finally we arrive, weary but enthusiastic to enter Scran "lifelong dream" ton.
  11. We are in the home of Froggy 101.
  12. First stop upon our arrival: The Mall at Steamtown.
  13. Turns out apart from sparse signage, The Mall at Steamtown is unaffiliated with the Office. It's pretty much just a mall.
  14. We rendezvous to our hotel which was the stuff of nightmares. But let me tell you, was it affordable.
  15. This literally was a fellow guest as we parked our car. Comforting.
  16. Dinner's now up for debate. I throw out Cooper's as a suggestion.
    But it's expensive.
  17. Poor Richards wins out. Poor Richards is our next stop.
  18. Poor Richards is, in fact, a bowling alley bar.
  19. Like I said, Poor Richards is a bowling alley bar.
    College basketball on one screen, the Bachelor on another. Up chickens down chickens, eat your heart out.
  20. Drinks and bowling sum up the evening, and as it turned out, Scranton.
  21. The next day we went to Atlantic City for the rest of our road trip.
    With stories that could fill 9 DVD boxsets.
  22. It's true, Scranton had more to offer as a dream than a destination. But there's no shame in my admittance. If you ever have the chance to drop everything and visit Scranton, do it.
  23. Just make sure you've watched every episode of the series around 7 times first.
    @bjnovak, many thanks for you and your colleagues' gift to television audiences everywhere.