THE DISCONTINUED FRENCH FRY PROMO CHARACTER I AM, THE ONE I WANT TO BE, AND THE ONE I'LL PROBABLY BE

Inspired by @vmacies, @joemurphy, et al. and an unrelenting craving for fries
  1. I am: Lincoln Fry
    Demure, economical, notable nose, deep-fried
  2. I want to be: Drummer for Coq Roq, the metal band promoting BK's Chicken Fries
    Authentic, unhinged, rocker, look almost like Batman
  3. I'll probably be: Mr. Potato Head
    Eventually bald, eventually rock a killer mustache, eventually talk like Don Rickles