5 Nightclub Rules

  1. 1.
    Never take a half finished drink off ANYONE. Apart from the major hygiene issues involved, it makes sense logically too. Chances are that if you are the sort of person who would actually take and consume a half-finished drink, there are lots of people who hate you.
    As such the chances that some sort of poison has been placed in the drink are greatly increased. Or even just plain old spit.
  2. 2.
    Never rely on guys to get your drinks at clubs. Insider info for any thick female out there - GUYS ONLY GO TO THE CLUB TO SCORE. THEY ARENT INTERESTED IN YOUR PERSONALITY, THEY DONT THINK YOUR HAIR LOOKS NICE, THEY DONT WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU, AND THEY SURE AS HELL DONT WANT YOUR BLOODY LIFE STORY.
    Shocked? I know, thats because you’re an idiot.
  3. 3.
    Never leave your drink unattended. No shit, that should be pretty bloody obvious. You would be surprised how often people leave their drinks with their friends while they go to the toilet or go to see another friend. Let me spell out another important factor - LEAVING YOUR DRINK WITH A DRUNK FRIEND IS TANTAMOUNT TO LEAVING IT UNATTENDED.
    From now on, If i’m at a club, and see a girl walk off leaving her drink behind with the intention of returning to it, Im going to run up and pee in it.
  4. 4.
    Never take your eyes off your drink. Ok, that one may be a bit unrealistic, but I think it is very poor form to be on the one drink for an extended period of time, so if you feel your concentration start to slip, skull that bitch! Particularly if you are sitting in between two guys and one of them keeps trying to distract your attention one way.
    The other guy is probably slipping you a mickey.
  5. 5.
    Never call another girl by their last name or a colloquial nickname. Nothing to do with drink spiking, but sensible nonetheless.