WHY PARENTING IS ALL YOUR WORST RELATIONSHIPS ROLLED INTO ONE

Bad girlfriends/boyfriends in your past? Guess what, they are now your child
  1. Crying for no reason
  2. Never listens to what you have to say
  3. Never wants to go to nice restaurants, only McDonalds
  4. Terrible tastes in TV and Film
  5. Clingy
  6. Embarrasses you in public
  7. They are a slob
  8. Can't ever hold an adult conversation
  9. Sports. Every. Goddamn. Weekend
  10. Never wears pants around the house
  11. Doesn't want to hold your hand after a few years in the relationship
  12. Prefers to spend more time with their friends than you
  13. All your work in the relationship goes unappreciated
  14. For the first few months of the relationship, they are pretty much only interested in you because of your boobs, but then they stick around because you'll buy them stuff and take care of them, letting them live with you because they can't afford a place right now