Things I Will Never Enjoy

  1. Catching a spider web in the face
  2. Vegamite
  3. Sitting on a toilet seat warmed by someone else's butt
  4. Pun-based Halloween costumes
  5. Attempting to dry off with a cold, wet towel
  6. Being asked what I do for a living
  7. Drinking orange juice directly after brushing my teeth
  8. Having to borrow someone else's swimsuit
  9. Stepping barefoot onto an errant jack or Lego.