THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF A JOHN WOO PIGEON

  1. 1989. The film 'The Killer' Starring Chow Yun Fat
  2. My first feature. It's my first day on set, and I'm a little nervous. This is a big deal for a small town pigeon like myself.
  3. Wow, John Woo himself has just walked on set!
  4. Mr. Woo wants me and a few others to fly around a church in slow motion. Flying slow mo is my forte. I know I can do this.
  5. Mr. Woo had a change of heart, and brought in white doves to replace us. A bunch of hacks if you ask me.
  6. 1992. The film 'Hard Boiled' Starting Chow Yun Fat
  7. Ok, we're set to shoot in a tea house. I was promised screen time by Woo himself.
  8. Are you kidding me? Finches!? He replaced me with a couple of no talent Finches!?
  9. 1993. The film 'Hard Target' Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme
  10. Second film with the word 'Hard' in it. Strange.
  11. I've never worked with Jean-Claude before. He has a pungent musk and he creeps me out a little. Seems nice enough though.
  12. Mr. Woo wants a group of us to flying around an abandoned warehouse. He wants me to crap on one of the henchmen chasing Van Damme. Thinks it'll be funny.
  13. I did it. It was awesome.
  14. 1997. The film 'Face/Off' Starring Jon Travolta and Nicholas Cage
  15. I wrote that letter to Alfredo's mother, as promised.
  16. But someone loaded real bullets into the henchmen's gun. He fired up and...well....we lost Alfredo today.
  17. So all I have to do is walk around John Travolta's feet. Not exactly the dream job but it's still show business.
  18. Oh my god. There are like forty of us and Mr. Woo picked me for a stand out role! Me!
  19. He wants me to fly in slow motion in front of a painting of the Virgin Mary. I can do this.
  20. Nailed it.
  21. 2000. The film 'Mission Impossible 2' Starring Tom Cruise.
  22. Tom seems shorter then I would have thought. Even to me.
  23. For today's stunt, a group of us have to fly around Tom as he does a backflip while he kicks some guy in the face.
  24. I'm a little nervous....
  25. There's fifty of us. Fifty of us! And Tom kicks me out of the air!! Like wtf!?
  26. I'm seriously injured. I may never fly in this business again...