HOLIDAY LESSONS

Things I've learned this holiday week
  1. I can eat everything
    Literally. Put it in front of me. I'll eat it.
  2. Coffee Cake, a welcome staple
    Maybe it's only an Ohio staple, but if you show up at someone's house or host a party without a rectangular treat in hand, you have just committed a felony.
  3. You're bored with your family
    Seriously. I yearn for a favorite or a like of my stupid jokes during the rest of the year, but this week I feel confident I could have my own HBO special. I can only surmise it's because you're bored with your families.
  4. I can't metabolize everything
    My pants were not this small when I got here. Must be the coffee cake.