MY THOUGHTS WHILE READING TODAY'S HEADLINES

Probably should've had a few drinks first.
  1. I'm No Econ Wizard, but ...
    A 500+ point drop in the DOW doesn't seem like a good thing. Like, at all.
  2. Y'all Are Yucky!
    Nearly 200K people in LA alone were outed in the Ashley Madison hack. To which I say: "y'all are yucky!"
  3. Semper Fidelis, Fuck Face!
    When two U.S. Marines heard him loading his rifle in a nearby bathroom, he had no idea how royally fucked his plan to massacre hundreds of innocent civilians was about to become.
  4. I Wish Ellen Page Was a Better Debater.
    I wish she had had more concise arguments when Jeb Bush agreed to debate the cause for basic human freedoms at the Iowa State Fair with her. Instead he dragged her face-first through a steaming pile of right wing politician bullshit from which she didn't really truly recover. I appreciate her efforts all the same.
  5. "Biggest Hypocrite Ever" seems far too nice.
    Josh Duggar got busted - AGAIN - for being a shit-filled skinbag and THIS is how he describes himself. Unreal.