1. Taking Online Quizzes
    I'm sincerely curious as to which Golden Girl I am, but if I'm not Rose it's just gonna send me into an emotional tailspin.
  2. Unsubscribing from marketing emails.
    Seriously, it can't possibly be helping.
  3. Trying to wear bracelets
    It just throws my normcore outfits all out of whack.
  4. Talking to other drivers
    They can't hear me and I don't carry a gun in case they can read lips.
  5. Attempting complex bro handshakes
    I'm literally the worst at this. No amount of practice will relieve this social inadequacy.
  6. Reading BuzzFeed Articles
    Seriously, it can't possibly be helping.