THINGS MY BODY NOW REFUSES

As of 34, these ol bones have said enough already
  1. Milk
    Turns out if you give up something for like ten years, it's basically gone forever.
  2. Sitting On Ma Rear All Day
    Back in the day, if AMC was hitting its mark with a good run of 90's movies, you could say goodbye to plans on Sunday. If I were to do that now, it would require a solid month of lower back therapy.
  3. Taco Bell
    All of the squirts.
  4. Tequila
    Unless you want me to attempt to flip a moving car or fight a man three times my size, this beverage is off limits.
  5. Dominos Pizza
    I've never swallowed an actual cork, but I can only imagine this is what it feels like.
  6. Sleeping In Past 8
    Pack it up, kids. Life just ain't fair.