THINGS THAT SHOULD REQUIRE A LICENSE BUT DO NOT

I'm not huge on rules, but some things need regulations to keep the dumb dumbs from hurting themselves or others. Please feel free to add to this list.
  1. Procreating
    This one is obvious and there's a reason for that. Terrible parents are why the rest of us have to deal with assholes.
  2. Costco
    The test is just a diagram of the inside of the store with one question: "Where is it acceptable to completely abandon your cart while scavenging for samples with the other tubs of human goo?" If you point to anywhere on the diagram, you're not allowed a membership.
  3. Discussing Politics
    Not everyone will agree and I respect that. But you should have to prove that you've done your research or at least passed a social studies course beyond 7th grade.
  4. Discussing Sports
    I'm not saying you need to be an expert or even an athlete, but it's super annoying when you open your mouth about that which you clearly know nothing. Just listen and learn for future discussions, please.
  5. Movie Going
    The test is a simple true/false with questions like: "It is okay to talk above a whisper while the movie is playing." (False) "It is absolutely not okay to use your cell phone in any fashion while the movie is playing." (True)