UNDERSTANDING TODDLER

Just a few pointers, as told by my 2 year old
  1. What's yours is mine
    Everything you see is mine. Even your so-called life blood, coffee. Mine. Wait. This tastes awful. More, please.
  2. If I'm quiet
    I'm either filling my diaper or plotting something dangerous. Either way, ready your mind for a gigantic mess.
  3. Hugs are my super power
    You seem upset with me after I just destroyed the carpet ... and the couch ... and the walls ... and that picture frame. Hug? Yeah, that's it. You are putty. Putty in my chubby little arms.
  4. Curse Words
    You're telling yourself that I didn't hear it because I haven't repeated it ... yet. Unrelated: can we please skype with gamma?
  5. Is that Elmo in your pocket?
    You say "iPhone." I say "endless stream of Elmo, don't make me throw a fit."