USELESS SENTENCES I UTTER REGULARLY

Is this thing on? Hello?
  1. Please change the toilet paper roll when you use the last of it.
    I've said this to every cohabitant in the history of my time on this Earth. I'm convinced it's helping and therefore I am relentless.
  2. It's time for bed.
    Toddlers and bed time, there is no greater struggle.
  3. Remind me to (insert literally any verb/action)
    I should know better. Remembering is my own responsibility.
  4. Are these your dishes from yesterday?
    I get it, though. Doing dishes blows.