1. I've had many types of weekends but never Vampire one.
  2. I once gave a street musician trying to get back home from NYC money because she was hot.
  3. Aderall got me through my Daily Show packet submission. I used performance enhancing drugs.
  4. I've spent more on sports memorabilia than some people make in a year. Still deciding if I'm proud of it or not.
  5. I've lost at the Emmys twice and it was an honor to be nominated. Just kidding losing is infuriating.