THINGS WE MISS ABOUT AMERICA WHEN WE ARE ABROAD

Co-authored by @gsheldon. We love the world and our work lets us see a lot of it, but we are Yankee Doodle Sweethearts, and on this Independence Day- we are telling you the little and big things we miss about the great ol Land o liberty...so here we go! (Ireland is exempt.)
  1. Apple Pie
    R: Get your streusel out mah face. G-in Peru & Croatia: why are there fucking raisins in my pie?
  2. Queues or Lines
    Watch your ribs in Germany and Eastern Europe
  3. Free flat H20
    Also ice.
  4. Smiling as a sign of confidence or friendliness.
  5. Power Outlets that make sense and don't change from one state to another.
  6. Not paying for restrooms.
    Be free to pee...for free.
  7. Freedom of Speech/ freedom of Press
    No really- all the lies to not get arrested.
  8. PEANUT BUTTER.
  9. GREEN JUICE.& acai bowls
  10. Queen beds that aren't two twin beds
  11. All the Breakfast
  12. Parking
  13. Road maintenance
  14. Cars built for people over 5'1"
    And not being gawked at for the ogres we are (Germany and Scandinavia excluded)
  15. Money that doesn't turn your pocket into a weapon.
    We're split on this but the coins do get heavy.
  16. Native English speakers.
  17. Rooms you can turn a circle in.
  18. An awareness re: smoking
    11 year olds smoking everywhere
  19. Apathy for futbol---
    Wait. We love soccer too, but SOMETIMES it's a lot. Like when you want to have a pre-pro meeting and everyone needs to be in view of a screen and every few minutes someone randomly NEEDS to scream like all the world's puppies have been slaughtered.
  20. Basketball
  21. Vegetarian options outside of Asia
  22. Absence of pickpockets
    AND PEDDLERS- not the chill ones; the ones that harass you for blocks
  23. Children that are living their lives as children
    From Cuba and Latin America: This one is a sad one; children working as peddlers, pickpockets, surrounding your car until you give them money. Experience this even once and you will be SO grateful for your American upbringing.
  24. Americans!