THINGS I SHOULDN'T BE DOING WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP

  1. Catching up on all those books
  2. Catching up on that DVR
  3. Reading news sources to pretend to be smart
  4. Debating why Pop Tarts don't look like shortbread in the commercials
  5. Worrying about not getting enough sleep
  6. Lying to myself that I won't sleep later and thus keep myself awake again tomorrow night
  7. Writing the next great American novel in my head but somehow never putting it on paper
  8. Singing Carry On Wayward Son in its entirety in my mind
  9. Rehearsing my perfect interview answers which will make employers fall all over themselves to not bother with formalities like interviewing
  10. Convince myself every noise I hear is the ax murderer inching closer to my room in a ballet of mind and footsteps
  11. Wonder what to talk to my therapist about
  12. Breathing exercises that are just really loud and frustrated sighs
  13. Yawn to unconvincingly convince myself I'm tired