Add to the list, please.
  1. Dolphins
    Dolphins are basically humans, no thumbs, but all of the misplaced angst, irrational behavior, and sexual frustration that makes the human race so powerful but yet so weak. Dolphins are rapist and cowards who will one day over take us. They smile, but only because they know the power with which they will destroy us all.
  2. Horses
    We pretend horses are most themselves whenever they let humans throw a saddle over them and ride them around. But every once in a while they do something out of character like kicking a hunchback in the head of bucking off a child. But it's the other way around, horses don't want anything to do with us, and rightfully so. You know who says "I love riding horses"? Nobody who cares about horses! Animals don't want you on top of them.
  3. Spiders
  4. Humans
    We ruin everything.
    Suggested by @Markmccrummen
  5. Mosquitos
    Suggested by @landonfink
  6. Eels.
    They slither, they're fast, they're usually hidden in plain site, and they're creepy. They're basically underwater snakes.
    Suggested by @bmc0030
  7. Hamsters
    What is their purpose?
    Suggested by @moonjockey
  8. The Animals
    Such a cliche band name.
    Suggested by @jpeiler97