10 RELUCTANT THOUGHTS ABOUT THE SUPER BOWL
I just thought about the Super Bowl but I didn't mean to.
- •"The Super Bowl is a really good opportunity to hack my smart home and have a cool party for nerds"Program your lightbulbs to turn your living room into a disco every time Cam Newton starts dancing!
- •"I really wish I had seen that movie about football players getting brain injuries so that I would have a good reason to boycott this game"Cheat sheet: football helmets do almost nothing to protect from the hits in which a player's head gets twisted. Only direct hits are protected. Direct hits are rare! You can boycott the game if you want.
- •"Do those people who make Dorito's Super Bowl ads even get paid?"Yeah, no.
- •"Do you think Drake will do a Super Bowl commercial this year?"He did! For T-Mobile! Guess that guys acting days are never over.
- •"Will the sheer radiance of Beyoncé knock the lights out in the stadium again?"Obviously!
- •"How did Uber end up being the only ride-share service at the Super Bowl?"Thinking about how Uber accomplishes things will only hurt you and the ones you love.
- •"Is going to a Super Bowl party worth it just to get pizza?"No! You can use your Amazon Alexa to order Domino's now.
- •"I bet if you lived in San Francisco you could make a fortune renting your spare room on Airbnb this weekend"Not true! Of the 10,000 listings in the Bay Area this weekend, about 60% are still available. Not enough football fans and not enough dumb football fans who will pay $1,000 for one night in the Mission district in a crappy apartment.
- •"What if I don't watch the Super Bowl and then I miss out on a big cultural moment, like Left Shark Part Two?"Is FOMO the number one cause of human beings watching the Super Bowl? Please investigate.
- •"What time is the Super Bowl on anyway?"Google it.