10 TRIUMPHS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT THAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK

This list will make you happy!
  1. One man spent four years and $35,000 to unmask a troll commenter
    He knew only the town in which the troll lived — which has a population of 37,000. Now he know the person's name, and also, that the person was a casual acquaintance of his! It's always nice to know which of your friends would call you a pedophile online in an anonymous comment.
  2. Netflix is rebooting Lost in Space
    "Danger, Will Robinson! Binge-watching!"
  3. Women are apparently not buying that terrible sex drug for women
    The "female viagra" which doesn't really work is also not really being purchased. The free hand of the market and the incredulousness of the ladies!
  4. Belgians responded to a terrorist threat with photos of their cats
    Police asked people in Brussels not to share any details of an investigation on Twitter, so instead they rallied together to tweet pictures of their cats using the hashtag #BrusselsLockdown. Bad for terrorists, great for those of use who like cat photos and not terrorists!!
  5. Adele's new album came out and the world said "WEEPING"
    OH, THE HUMAN SPIRIT WAS TRIUMPHANT, INDEED. And seems like Adele will be too. Her album shipped more physical copies than any other since NSYNC in 2000, during the heyday of CDs.
  6. Facebook will now hide your ex from you after a messy breakup
    Social media platform based on algorithms? Or good, loyal friend who knows how easy it is to accidentally creep-like a three-year old photo in the middle of the night? A rare win for the broken-hearted.
  7. J.J. Abrams and James Franco are making a Stephen King adaptation for Hulu
    It is very surprising to learn that James Franco reads genre fiction! That is very off-brand for him! Congrats to James Franco for momentarily not acting like a parody of himself!
  8. Someone is Kickstarting a paper airplane that is also a live streaming drone
    If you want to record video with a drone, but you really don't want to be the type of person who owns a drone, you can now just use the coolest paper airplane in existence! Whimsical!
  9. Teens can no longer tell the difference between authentic content and ads
    Right, but the first step to finding a solution is admitting that there is a problem. There's a problem! Teens, please come to my workshop on recognizing sponsored content! All you need is an acute sense of distrust and crippling paranoia, and soon you will be able to sniff out money anywhere.
  10. Beats now offers rose gold headphones
    The people have spoken, and made rose gold a "thing." And by "the people," we mean "the bros" of course! Good for the bros. The bros get this one.