ALL THE EPIC WAYS TOM BRADY MIGHT HAVE DESTROYED HIS PHONE TO ESCAPE JUSTICE
by Ross Miller
- •Brady smashes it with his Super Bowl XLIX MVP trophy.
- •Brady throws an all-star Hail Mary pass into a brick wall.
- •Brady watches a "Will it Blend?" video, orders a Blendtec Total Blender from Amazon, and then smashes the phone with the base of the blender.
- •Brady uses his charm to convince the phone that self-destruction is the best course of action for everyone.
- •Brady checks Twitter from his phone while taking a shower.
- •Brady smashes it with his Super Bowl XXXVI MVP trophy.
- •Brady calls Patriot kicker Stephen Gostkowski to come over and hang out. Gostkowski finds the door open and Brady nowhere to be found. On the kitchen table is Brady's cellphone, a pair of steel toed boots, and a note that simply reads, "You know what to do."
- •Brady gently places the phone behind the rear wheel of his Bugatti Veyron and then drives over it.
- •Bugatti leaves the phone in his pocket and jumps in a pool.
- •Brady smashes it with his Super Bowl MVP XXVII trophy.