PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE UPSET ABOUT ADELE'S ABSURD ALBUM SALES

Not Adele! Not me!
  1. *NSYNC
    25 is the second album to sell over 2 million domestic copies in a single week since Nielsen began accurately tracking sales in 1991. The only other album to cross that line is *NSYNC's No Strings Attached, which sold 2,416,000 at the music industry's peak in 2000. Because there are three full days left in Nielsen's tracking week, 25 is going to smash *NYSNC's record. Barring some unforeseen catastrophe!
  2. Justin Bieber
    Justin Bieber's elaborate ruse to win back Selena Gomez's heart had the highest-selling debut week of 2015. He held that title for all of six days.
  3. Taylor Swift
    Taylor Swift's 1989 has sold 5.35 million copies in the 13 months since it came out. Adele's 25 sold close to half of that in two days. In fact, Taylor Swift's chart and award supremacy has largely aligned with Adele's recent three-year hiatus. The battle of the pop queens may just be beginning. Hope some of it happens on Twitter!
  4. Certainly not One Direction
    One Direction was narrowly beat out of the top spot on the charts by Justin Bieber (who had earlier sent them a weird taunt via VINE). It's a safe bet that watching their countryman unseat him without ceremony wasn't an unwelcome turn of events.
  5. Certainly not Adele
    Adele's "Hello" is the meme to beat this holiday season, and 25 is the album to beat this... decade? Century? She has no reason to cry. Except for I guess, all the times she's made us cry.
  6. Certainly not the music industry
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
  7. Spotify
    Pour one out for Spotify. They missed out on the debut of Beyoncé's visual album in 2013, Taylor Swift's landmark pop debut in 2014, and now the biggest album of the last quarter century.
  8. Journalists who have made really firm statements about the demise of the music industry vis a vis album sales?
    Haha, time to bury some stuff.