REAL STUFF YOU CAN BUY IN SUPPORT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE OF YOUR CHOOSING

  1. Marco Ru(bae)o t-shirt
    Marco Rubio is interested in letting young people know that he exists, and is also young. He also wants to be president, which is not entirely clear from this T-shirt, but which you might know if you ever looked up from your texting machine, kiddo.
  2. Chillary Clinton "can holder"
    Pretty chill, amirite?
  3. Bernie Sanders t-shirt that is just a screen print of a 1940s poster advocating the implementation of social security
    Interesting, but why.
  4. Yard sign that says "The silent majority stands with Trump"
    Buy if: intimidating lawn decorations and obvious oxymorons are up your alley.
  5. A dog shirt that says "All I Want for Christmas is a New President" and suggests that Carly Fiorina should be that president
    Do you love Carly Fiorina, your dog, and dog clothing that can only be worn for at most six days before your dog mauls it in an act of shame? Are you not totally sure when the presidential election is? You will seriously love this item!
  6. A fake doctor's scrub that has a fake name tag that says "Dr. Ben Carson" on it
    This object's price has been reduced by $10.50. I will not hazard a guess as to why!
  7. We "C" Ted Cruz for President coloring book
    Ted Cruz can just "C" it now: you and your pals coloring a picture of him, you and your pals hanging the picture on someone's fridge, some random guy tearing it down and rolling a blunt with it a few days later. At the end, he's president!
  8. Incredibly boring merchandise endorsing Jeb Bush
    It's so boring.