Growing up but staying little.
  1. Grandma picks him up for a play date and casually suggests that he could spend the night.
  2. Strange mix of emotions from me, delight/deep fear. The freedom! But will he sleep? Will he cry?
  3. We ask my toddler if this is something he'd like to do. Without hesitation he says yes. 💔 won't he miss me?
  4. Grandma says we will play it by ear and she will likely bring him home by bedtime. She winks at me and they drive away.
  5. No news all day from grandma.
  6. At bedtime she texts a video of him in the bath. She asks off camera if he wants to spend the night. He says yes. She makes him say goodnight to me.
  7. I enjoy a movie and a glass of wine. I order takeout. I feel like I should be enjoying them more. I can't remember this kind of silence ever being normal. The waves of relaxation are interspersed with wondering how my first born is doing.
  8. I text my husband (who was away on business) and friends gloating about my freedom that night. They tell me to put down the phone and enjoy.
  9. At 9pm I get a text saying he fell asleep while grandpa told him a story. This little picturesque scene made me relieved but also a little jealous. Was bedtime really that easy?
  10. At 11:15pm I am woken up to banging on my window and headlights in the driveway. It's grandma. She had texted and called while I was asleep. She was returning my toddler who had woken up shortly after falling asleep and resisted going back to sleep.
  11. I fold my baby into my arms and carry him into my bed. I whisper earnestly about how much I missed him and we both fall asleep instantly.