4 Great Lessons on Confidence From Mindy Kaling's New Book
- •You have to earn it.While some might advocate a "fake it 'til you make it" approach, Kaling's view is different: She sees confidence as stemming from a genuine belief that you deserve what you have and what you're striving for. And that takes time to build.
- •You have to work for it.Kaling equates confidence with entitlement, a word she points out "has gotten a bad rap because it's used almost exclusively for the useless children of the rich, reality TV stars, and Conrad Hilton Jr. ..." But to her, entitlement is, again, the belief that you deserve what you get. How do you arrive at that belief? By working your butt off.
- •People will tear you down out of fear.Kaling is no stranger to criticism — she's mentioned in several interviews that she's been called not "attractive or funny enough" to have her own show, and Gawker's Rich Juzwiak memorably referred to her as the "human equivalent of a retweeted compliment." But while no one is immune to feeling hurt or discouraged by negative comments, she seems to have achieved some measure of Zen about it.
- •Don't let anyone make you a victim.She calls bullshit on the subtler message behind the whole concept of teaching women to be confident: namely, that nobody is doing the same for men because for men, it seems, confidence is expected to come naturally.