FAVORITE ST LOUIS CARDINALS, RANKED

  1. Willie McGee.
    The Humble Hero.
  2. Yadier Molina
    Made of tough.
  3. Lou Brock
    Shares a birthday with my mom, making both of them more awesome than they already are.
  4. Silent George Hendrick
    Invented the baseball-pants-all-the-way-to-the-shoe-tops look and receives no credit for it. Also, never heard to speak publicly ever. Also, had the game-winning hit in the 1982 World Series. Meritorious.
  5. Bob Gibson
    If "Bob" rhymed with "Man," that would have been his nickname because he's the man.
  6. Stan Musial
    "Stan" does rhyme with "Man," which is convenient because he was The Man. So great in every way that generations of STL fans never saw him play but love him as though they did.
  7. Ted Simmons
    When the whole rest of the team sucked, he did not. Smoked Marlboro Reds.
  8. Terry Pendleton
    The Great Short Pudgy Hope. Reputed to have changed a lady's flat tire outside the ballpark late one night after a game because he was a mensch.
  9. Lonnie Smith
    "If they had the designated hitter in the National League, he'd have died a Cardinal." - Whitey Herzog upon Lonnie's trade in 1985
  10. Mike Shannon
    St. Louis high school legend, a decade playing for the hometown team, the ostensibly boozy malaprop-prone voice of the Cardinals for 45 years.