PRO SPORTS TEAM NAMES THAT GET AWAY WITH IT
Not a comprehensive list.
- •Philadelphia Phillies.The equivalent names in other cities would be the Los Angeles L.A.s, the Cincinnati Cincies, the Indianapolis Indies, the Washington D.C. D.C.s. and so on. And everyone would completely berate the cities, the teams, and the fans for those names. But the Phillies are from Philly, so nobody says a word for fear of having the shit beat out of them in the parking lot.
- •Utah Jazz.The "Stairway to Heaven" of inexplicable sports team names. Overplayed but undeniable.
- •Toronto Maple Leafs.In America, the plural of "leaf" is different.
- •Boston Red Sox/Chicago White SoxImagine the kerfuffle If, instead of Goldielocks and the Three Bears, it were Goldielox. Some weird tale about brunch and some bears with a taste for capers? Everyone's youth would have been different. And yet no one says a word about the Sox.
- •Hamilton Tiger-Cats.As opposed to the Tiger-Dogs? The Tiger-Marsupials? Canadian football is the Tiger-Cats of North American team sports. They have a 55-yard line. And they're on the metric system.
- •Minnesota WildKinda general, isn't it? At least inanimate natural phenomena like thunder and heat and lightning have some known and intimidating effect. The Wild is a habitat.
- •Buffalo BillsA bill is either something you owe for services rendered or the snout of some waterfowl species or a guy who shortened "William" down at some regrettable point in his youth (it made sense at the time). All three are perfectly legitimate things, but you would never name your sports team for any of them. And yet, the Buffalo Bills are awesome.
- •Arizona DiamondbacksD-Backs for short. Like, the TV announcers say "Due up in the bottom of the fourth for the D-Backs..." And the team was invented in 1998, well after the community of nations recognized, described, and discussed the existence and pervasiveness of D-Bags. Nice going, Phoenix!