The final presidential debate calls for yoga
No matter whether you lean blue or red, the first and second presidential debates were stomach-churning experiences. Some viewers deal with debates using drinking games. We suggest a healthier alternative for Wednesday’s third and final debate: yoga. Illustrations by Mike Sudal.
- •The everlasting emailLie facedown with the tops of your feet on the floor and palms down with bent elbows. Push the floor away until your arms are straight and your upper body is off the floor. Strike this pose when someone brings up Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email serverwhile Secretary of State.
- •Anguished elephantStart on your hands and knees with your back flat. As you slowly inhale, let your belly drop while tilting your chest toward the ceiling. Exhale, and let your back rise until it’s flat again. Repeat as many times as Donald Trump says “rigged.”
- •The secret speechFrom a standing position, raise your arms then exhale and bend your knees until thighs are parallel to the floor. Hold this pose as long as possible when someone asks how Hillary Clinton’s paid talks to Wall Street bankers square with her appeals to the working class.
- •The locker-room pushbackStand upright, arms reaching to the sky, then tilt forward at the waist and extend your right leg backward while balancing on your left leg. Strike this pose when someone brings up Donald Trump’s lewd comments about women in a leaked video, which he described as “locker-room talk.” Side benefit of this pose: You can use your arms to cover your ears.
- •Downward donkeyStart on hands and knees with a flat back. Exhale and round your back toward the ceiling, like a frightened Halloween cat. This pose is for when Democrats remember that Hillary Clinton, despite leading in the polls, still has one of the lowest favorability ratings in the history of presidential politics.
- •The big deductionLie facedown with legs side by side. Place your forearms on the floor parallel to each other with elbows under your shoulders. Hold the position for as long as it takes to explain all the perfectly legal ways to rack up millions of dollars in tax deductions. Or until your arms give out.
- •(Undecided voters: place head down and curl up into child's pose.)