Albert Brooks in "Second Run Matinee"

I wrote a series of scenes for Albert Brooks, but they never made it beyond the show my friends stage. Maybe some of you will like it?
  1. ALBERT BROOKS
    (leans over to date, nudges her gently) I love you.
  2. DATE
    I love you, too.
  3. [Silence for a beat]
  4. ALBERT BROOKS
    How much?
  5. DATE
    What?
  6. ALBERT BROOKS
    Do you love me. How much do you--
  7. DATE
    A lot.
  8. ALBERT BROOKS
    (gushes cheekily) Because I love you more than anyone else in the world.
  9. DATE
    In the world?
  10. ALBERT BROOKS
    The whole world. You're the tops.
  11. DATE
    (hooks arm in Albert's arm, lays head on his shoulder, eyes forward and on the screen) Aw, thanks. Sweet.
  12. [long pause]
  13. ALBERT BROOKS
    What about me?
  14. DATE
    Hmm?
  15. ALBERT BROOKS
    You know what.
  16. DATE
    (lifts head from Albert's shoulder) You want me to tell you I love you more than anyone else in the world?
  17. ALBERT BROOKS
    (smiles, playfully nudges her away with shoulder) Well, yeah. (carefully) But only if you really mean it.
  18. DATE
    Oh, honey, I'm sorry. We've talked about this. (thumbs the cross around her neck in his direction, eyes still forward)
  19. ALBERT BROOKS
    Jesus.
  20. DATE
    You're right up there, though, don't worry.
  21. ALBERT BROOKS
    I said in the world. Heaven's not in the world. Just the world.
  22. DATE
    Jesus IS my world. You know that, Albert. Now can we watch...? (gestures toward screen)
  23. [long pause]
  24. ALBERT BROOKS
    So, second place to Jesus.
  25. DATE
    Second place to Jesus, or eighth after cake.
  26. ALBERT BROOKS
    (irritated grin) Eighth after--
  27. DATE
    Albert, I'm sorry, but we've only been going out for three weeks.
  28. ALBERT BROOKS
    Three and a THIRD weeks.
  29. [An angry man sitting directly behind them intervenes]
  30. ANGRY MAN
    Will you two shut up? We're trying to watch the movie!
  31. [Albert turns away from the angry man, embarrassed. A long pause as they settle back into the movie.]
  32. ALBERT BROOKS
    (quieter, to his date) Fine.
  33. DATE
    Fine?
  34. ALBERT BROOKS
    I'll take it.
  35. DATE
    Take what?
  36. ALBERT BROOKS
    Second place to Jesus.
  37. DATE
    Shhh.