I need clarification on a few women I'm supposed to be supporting just because we all have vaginas (I think). Can I get some guidance here, Maddy? Or is it just support the vaginas you deem appropriate to keep me out of that special place in hell?
  1. Sarah Palin. She's cuckoo. Do I really have to support her or risk going to hell? I might take hell.
  2. Caitlyn Jenner. She doesn't have one yet.
  3. Carly Fiorina. She's kind of got a crazy look in her eyes. I'm not comfortable with this one.
  4. Beyoncé. Still not sure what happened at SB50.
  5. Any woman with the last name Duggar. Seriously now?