9 Things All Outdoorsy People Say
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- •"I hiked the Grand Canyon and when I got to the top I could see my dad's house. But he wasn't home so I got sad."
- •"There's nothing quite like drinking coffee that you hunted, skinned and slaughtered with your own bare hands."
- •"FUCK THE EAGLE JUST PECKED OUT MY EYEBALLS FUCKFUCKFUCK"
- •"Lichen only grows on the east side of trees because it is devoutly Muslim and has to pray towards Mecca three times a day."
- •"There's nothing like the feel of sunlight on your skin, the sound of birds chirping, and the scent of fresh bear turds in the air."
- •"The best way to start a fire is to make a little pyramid out of sticks and then pray to Ra the Sun God until it erupts in flames."
- •"OH SHIT THE EAGLE'S BACK FOR MORE AND HE BROUGHT HIS FAMILY!"
- •"SOMEONE TAUGHT THE EAGLE HOW TO USE A KNIFE AND HE JUST STABBED GARY TO DEATH."
- •"THE EAGLE HAS ME CORNERED. ALRIGHT, YOU SON OF A BITCH. IF I'M GOING TO HELL, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME."