9 Things All Outdoorsy People Say

@BuzzFeed You're a limitless source of inspiration.
  1. "I hiked the Grand Canyon and when I got to the top I could see my dad's house. But he wasn't home so I got sad."
  2. "There's nothing quite like drinking coffee that you hunted, skinned and slaughtered with your own bare hands."
  3. "FUCK THE EAGLE JUST PECKED OUT MY EYEBALLS FUCKFUCKFUCK"
  4. "Lichen only grows on the east side of trees because it is devoutly Muslim and has to pray towards Mecca three times a day."
  5. "There's nothing like the feel of sunlight on your skin, the sound of birds chirping, and the scent of fresh bear turds in the air."
  6. "The best way to start a fire is to make a little pyramid out of sticks and then pray to Ra the Sun God until it erupts in flames."
  7. "OH SHIT THE EAGLE'S BACK FOR MORE AND HE BROUGHT HIS FAMILY!"
  8. "SOMEONE TAUGHT THE EAGLE HOW TO USE A KNIFE AND HE JUST STABBED GARY TO DEATH."
  9. "THE EAGLE HAS ME CORNERED. ALRIGHT, YOU SON OF A BITCH. IF I'M GOING TO HELL, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME."