1. If you break up but are still on the same lease, saw your house in half so you each get an equal piece.
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  2. Avoid feeling lonely by taking up a fun, wholesome hobby, like hiking or morphine addiction.
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  3. Literally chase your blues away by running naked past a pack of hungry wolves. You'll be too scared to remember why you're sad!
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  4. Eat your body weight in blueberry donuts, just like you used to do every day before you started dating.
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  5. Bang their hot cousin.
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  6. Fill their leftover clothes with a pillow, start introducing your friends to your new pillow partner.
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  7. Adopt a pet dog, name it after your ex, then slowly revert to the same behavior that drove your ex away from you in the first place.
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  8. Remember that, no matter how bad it feels, at least you'll never feel as bad as Eddie Murphy after he lost his Oscar.
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