Assumptions I Have About Celebrities, Part 2

  1. Marco Rubio
    Marco Rubio is really three Miami-area schoolchildren in an overcoat.
  2. Margot Robbie
    Margot Robbie's real accent is the one she used in Wolf of Wall Street. She pretends to be Australian because it's classy.
  3. Tom Brady
    Once a year, Tom Brady wears an entire Juicy Couture tracksuit for 24 hours. He calls it his "Fancy Day."
  4. Adam Sandler
    Adam Sandler has been dead since 2004. His body is being used in an elaborate, "Weekend at Bernie's"-style ploy to create more Happy Madison movies
  5. Sandra Oh
    Prior to filming Sideways, Sandra Oh had never heard of wine. To this day, she refers to it as "Sideways Drink."