1. "I think I just farted out a lung."
    Static
    Julia Roberts, "Erin Brockovich"
  2. "Mom, I know you're watching. Keep your damn hands off my Cheeze-Its"
    Static
    Morgan Freeman, "Million Dollar Baby"
  3. "Sean Penn can suck my fucking dick. ACTING!"
    Static
    Dame Judi Dench, "Shakespeare On Love"
  4. "I'd like to dedicate this to everyone who said I would never own a small golden man who will live on my fireplace."
    Static
    James Cameron, "Titanic"
  5. "There's no way you people have EVER listened to any of our other music."
    Static
    Juicy J, "Hustle and Flow"
  6. "Blowholes! Blowholes! Blowholes!"
    Static
    Fisher Stevens, "The Cove"
  7. "Bette Midler told me she would literally eat shit if I won one of these. Well, Bette? A deal's a deal."
    Static
    Kevin Spacey, "The Usual Suspects"
  8. "THIS WAS A COLOSSAL MISTAKE! Having said that, thank you for the award."
    Static
    Paul Haggis, "Crash"
  9. "So I tell her, 'look, only one of us is leaving this room alive.' And that's the story of how I murdered a Siberian Tiger.
    Static
    Anthony Hopkins, "Silence of the Lambs"
  10. "You guys know where I could get some batteries? AAAs. Radio Shack never seems to have the kind I want."
    Static
    Oliver Stone, "Platoon"