Best Ways to Disappoint Your Dad
Let's be honest: if you're on here, you're pretty good at this already. Here's some suggestions.
- •Tell him "I wish you would dress up like mom, so that I could have two moms instead of just one"
- •Not be your better brother, Kevin
- •Only apply to colleges with the word "Art" in the name
- •Get chorus role rather than lead in big school play
- •Dig hole to China, give up when you reach earth's mantle like a quitter
- •On day of championship football game, drop crucial pass while crying out "Milk! Milk! Baby needs his Milk!
- •Eat twin in womb
- •Take time off from college to backpack around Europe as a heroin mule
- •Get face tattoo of entire 9/11 commission report
- •Become VICE President of AmericaThis is a family of winners, damn it