1. New Jersey governor and snowman made of meatballs Chris Christie
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  2. Neurosurgeon and black coworker from an office stock photo Ben Carson
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  3. Former Hewlett Packard CEO and wig mannequin come to life Carly Fiorina
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  4. Florida Senator and Cuban Dennis the Menace Marco Rubio
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  5. Texas Senator and Austrian basement family patriarch Ted Cruz
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  6. Businessman and grove of ripe oranges Donald Trump
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  7. Kentucky senator and Justin Timberlake body-double Rand Paul
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  8. Former Florida governor and face from that flyer being posted around your neighborhood Jeb Bush
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