Colbert- Style Descriptions for the 2016 Republican Presidential Contenders

  1. New Jersey governor and snowman made of meatballs Chris Christie
  2. Neurosurgeon and black coworker from an office stock photo Ben Carson
  3. Former Hewlett Packard CEO and wig mannequin come to life Carly Fiorina
  4. Florida Senator and Cuban Dennis the Menace Marco Rubio
  5. Texas Senator and Austrian basement family patriarch Ted Cruz
  6. Businessman and grove of ripe oranges Donald Trump
  7. Kentucky senator and Justin Timberlake body-double Rand Paul
  8. Former Florida governor and face from that flyer being posted around your neighborhood Jeb Bush