Colbert-Style Descriptions Of The Republican National Convention

Inspired by @StephenAtHome
  1. "A four-month-early Black Friday Old Navy fistfight..."
  2. "Comic-Con for Leni Riefenstahl fans..."
  3. "Party bus full of racist uncles..."
  4. "Crypto-fascist makeout party..."
  5. "Nomination announcement and Tommy Bahamas store come to life..."
  6. "Angry church..."
  7. "A political convention and geriatric orgy pre-show..."
  8. "Opinionated CSI: Miami focus group..."
  9. "Birthplace of America's death..."
  10. "Celebrity Apprentice reunion special..."