Eight Baby Swing Ostriches Who Are Considering Voting For Trump

  1. Charles is threatened by the artisan taco shop that opened at the end of his street.
  2. Eugene's life was turned upside-down by NAFTA, so he expresses his rage using alt-right Facebook memes.
  3. Xander primarily gets his news from Breitbart and the New York Post.
  4. Dave doesn't dislike Hillary BECAUSE she's a woman, but that has a LOT to do with it.
  5. Katherine worries that her kids will have to grow up in a word of tolerance and understanding.
  6. Jacob ate a whole bowl of nickels, so he knows what it's like to be flush with cash like Trump.
  7. Dusty is tired of the cuckservatives in Washington not listening to his VERY SPECIFIC thoughts on certain races.
  8. Douglas just wants to watch the world burn.