Inspired by @mentalfloss
  1. It is physically impossible to write a 4 and a 7 next to each other.
  2. If you subtract 937 from any number, the sum will always be "Kevin."
  3. 3 is the only openly gay number.
  4. If you multiply every duck in the world by every goose, you'll be balls-deep in unholy, feathery abominations.
  5. A+B only equals C if C GODDAMNED FEELS LIKE IT.
  6. Colorado's atomic clock is set to Miller Time. Subsequently, every hour is Beer O'Clock.
  7. 17 was a total asshole to 5 in high school.
  8. All social security numbers are the same, and the government just hopes no-one shares theirs with one another.
  9. If you add up every item in the "Twelve Days Of Christmas," you get a hell of an orgy.
  10. 1 is no longer the loneliest number ever since 72 got that bitter divorce.