Totally reasonable
  1. Win an Emmy
  2. Become "President for Life" of Central Asian country
  3. Own, love giraffe
  4. Party with Pope
  5. Have dinosaur named after me
  6. Nike endorsement contract
  7. Become best friends with JJ Watt
  8. Launch missile
  9. Ride in submarine with Alec Baldwin
  10. Hunt, kill Count Chocula
  11. Receive honorary doctorate from Culinary Institute of America for "excellence in eating"
  12. Stage elaborate heist
  13. Buy hot tub for Emerson LA campus, use said hot tub
  14. Have officially licensed Lego figurine of self
  15. Voice character on The Simpsons
  16. Thaw out, revive, fight Walt Disney
  17. Play paintball on Universal backlot