My Job Is Ending Next Week. What Do I Do Next?

Some background: I'm the writers' assistant on a USA drama. We're off-cycle, hence being jobless at the end of August. So, I put it to you, the good people of ListApp. What the fuck do I do next?
  1. House sit for elderly recluse, learn of terrible secret while bonding with them, only reveal evidence to police after recluse's death.
  2. Train whales at Sea World. Teach them how to channel pain into water dance.
  3. Stevedoring
  4. Your turn
  5. Tell-all industry blog
    Let's blow the hot steamy doors open on the sex-den that is the USA Network. No holds barred in this raunchy online guide to the "ins and outs" at USA. Sponsored by Advil.
    Suggested by   @evanp
  6. Make friends with Harper Lee. Snag a book deal out of it
    Suggested by   @dudleyjoshua
  7. Write a show that is a fictionalization of what happened behind the scenes of the show you work on now. Create the next UnReal!
    Suggested by   @Caissie
  8. Become a professional masseuse, solely for the benefit of your girlfriend.
    Suggested by   @Nikki