So, You Have an Alien Inside of You
We've all been there: you land on an abandoned planet just to be attacked by a squid-creature and have it deposit it's eggs in your chest. This is a helpful guide to plan what to do next
- •Remove the squid-creature currently wrapped around your face and throatThis is paramount: less time on your face equals more time to enjoy your remaining days! The ovipositor will be difficult to remove from your throat, so make sure it's done by a licensed medical professional or a medical droid specifically calibrated for the elderly billionaire stowing away on your ship.
- •Establish where the creature came fromYou've probably been in a coma for a few hours. Ask your crew mates how you came into contact with the creature. Did you accidentally break an electrical field covering a room full of eggs while investigating a distress beacon? Or did you open an urn full of black goo while researching humanity's origins? Details are important, people
- •Read "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" by Dr. Benjamin SpockThat ovipositor might have left you with a little surprise! Embrace the roll of motherhood, regardless of your sex, while learning basic tips about parenting
- •LunchYou've been through a lot. Kick back and enjoy a nice meal with your friends. Nothing bad will happen. Probably. Just do yourself a favor and wear a loose-fitting shirt.