Stupid Questions I Get Asked All the Time :/

Literally, ALL THE TIME
  1. "Excuse me, are you Brad Pitt?"
    Of course I am, bozo. Now let me use the urinal in peace
  2. "Brad, darling, do you want to make love to me, your wife and UN Embassador Angelina Jolie?"
    Of course I do, sweetheart. That's why I broke up with Jennifer Anniston in 2005
  3. "Daddy, what country am I from?"
    You're a child of the WORLD, son/daughter. Remember that when you apply to colleges
  4. "Brad, it's George. Do you want to do another Ocean's movie?"
    Of course I do, George. They're box office gold
  5. "Mr. Pitt, would you mind signing a headshot for my dry-cleaning service?"
    No, you commoner. I'm BRAD FUCKING PITT. I'm only here picking up my laundry because my nanny is off celebrating Trinidadian Christmas
  6. "Excuse me, sir? You can't park here. This is Brad Pitt's special spot"
    No shit, Sherlock. I know that because I am Brad Pitt, star of World War Z
  7. "Welcome to Cafe Gratitude. What are you thankful for today?
    I'm thankful that I can still open a picture and have all my hair at 40
  8. "Could you move your horse, sir? It shouldn't be standing in the carpool lane of the 405."
    Hey, I'm on that horse with three of my kids. YOU don't get to tell BRAD PITT how to travel around town
  9. "Fries or Salad?"
    Do I look like a salad eater? I'll tell you what I banned from the set of The Mexican: fucking salad