The Hardest Part About Losing My Mother

  1. I don't have anyone to call from the car anymore.
  2. That's not what I was expecting to be the one thing that hurts more than anything else.
  3. But losing that confidant, someone you can speak to about anything at any time with no reservations?
  4. Losing that fucking hurts.
  5. And it wasn't just the big stuff. Complaining about work. Making plans. Hearing family gossip. You don't know how special that is until it's gone.
  6. I mean, it's way more than just having someone to talk to when I'm on long car rides.
  7. It's not having someone to help me make the right decisions.
  8. It's forgetting the voice of someone who was in my life for 25 years.
  9. It's not having the woman who pushed me be creative, thoughtful, and funny every day of my life.
  10. It always kind of hurts. But, for some reason, it hurts the most in the car.