1. Take a literal shit on the Bill of Rights.
    Static
  2. Chase Angela Merkel around the UN while shouting "Ahrooooooooogah" like a horny cartoon wolf.
    Static
  3. Eat thick, Texas-style chili out of Lincoln's skull.
    Static
  4. Rename Trump Taj Mahal "The David Duke Center For The Eradication Of Diversity."
    Static
  5. Sucker punch Pope Francis.
    Static
  6. Make a sex tape starring himself and a swimming pool full of hundred dollar bills.
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  7. Call veterans "The biggest collection of pussies I've ever seen."
    Static
  8. I can't think of any more jokes. This whole thing is genuinely fucking terrifying.