Top College Scandals, Week of 11/9
- •Princeton UniversityStudents demand firing of Dean of Students Kathleen Deignan following revelation she's not really 1/16th Bengal Tiger as stated in her biography.
- •Dartmouth CollegeStudent activists demand name-change of Dartmouth's annual winter "Christmas is awesome and all other religions can suck a fat one" party.
- •Penn State UniversityFootball players unhappy they are no longer allowed to hunt professors for sport.
- •UC Santa CruzProtestors angry that Banana Slug mascot forced to sing in English at sporting events, rather than in it's native tongue.
- •University of Notre DameSome wacky Catholic shit.
- •University if Wisconsin - MadisonFreshman outraged at canceling of requirement to drink entire 6-pack of Blatz Light before attending first class of the week.
- •University of the PacificStudent government furious to find out University is located in Stockton, rather than a city that isn't a dumpster fire.
- •ITT Technical InstituteSeniors dismayed to learn their education wasn't for the future, but rather for the distant past.