1. Princeton University
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    Students demand firing of Dean of Students Kathleen Deignan following revelation she's not really 1/16th Bengal Tiger as stated in her biography.
  2. Dartmouth College
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    Student activists demand name-change of Dartmouth's annual winter "Christmas is awesome and all other religions can suck a fat one" party.
  3. Penn State University
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    Football players unhappy they are no longer allowed to hunt professors for sport.
  4. UC Santa Cruz
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    Protestors angry that Banana Slug mascot forced to sing in English at sporting events, rather than in it's native tongue.
  5. University of Notre Dame
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    Some wacky Catholic shit.
  6. University if Wisconsin - Madison
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    Freshman outraged at canceling of requirement to drink entire 6-pack of Blatz Light before attending first class of the week.
  7. University of the Pacific
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    Student government furious to find out University is located in Stockton, rather than a city that isn't a dumpster fire.
  8. ITT Technical Institute
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    Seniors dismayed to learn their education wasn't for the future, but rather for the distant past.