Trump's Supporters Explain Why They're Voting for Him, in Their Own Words

  1. "He seems like the kind of guy you could get a beer with after a long day of setting fire to non-Christian places of worship."
    Topher, YouTube Commentator
  2. "I like his views on everyone who's not me."
    Cheryl, Defendant
  3. "I dun'...I'm so drunshk. Drunk. MAKE AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!"
    Doug, Person of Interest
  4. "I won like eight grand at my buddy Garrett's bachelor party at Trump Taj Mahal. Used that money to buy a sweet ass jet ski. Thanks, Donald."
    Bryan, Insider Trader
  5. "I just feel like a billionaire plutocrat from New York knows how to personally connect with me, a part-time Meth dealer from Omaha."
    Gary, Street Magician
  6. "He let me watch him shower on the set of 'Home Alone 2.'"
    Macaulay, Unemployed
  7. "He's taking those Wall Street fat cats down a peg of two by losing billions of their dollars in various moneymaking schemes."
    Jill, Negligent Lifeguard
  8. "You see his dick? It's magnificent. That's a PRESIDENT's dick."
    Marshall, Ambulance Chaser
  9. "I've always wanted a president who has surprisingly insightful views on how two decades of NAFTA have gutted the American working class, and the business acumen to sell steaks at an electronics store."
    Carol, Bachelor Runner-Up
  10. "He's great for business."
    Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, Despot