1. "He seems like the kind of guy you could get a beer with after a long day of setting fire to non-Christian places of worship."
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    Topher, YouTube Commentator
  2. "I like his views on everyone who's not me."
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    Cheryl, Defendant
  3. "I dun'...I'm so drunshk. Drunk. MAKE AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!"
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    Doug, Person of Interest
  4. "I won like eight grand at my buddy Garrett's bachelor party at Trump Taj Mahal. Used that money to buy a sweet ass jet ski. Thanks, Donald."
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    Bryan, Insider Trader
  5. "I just feel like a billionaire plutocrat from New York knows how to personally connect with me, a part-time Meth dealer from Omaha."
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    Gary, Street Magician
  6. "He let me watch him shower on the set of 'Home Alone 2.'"
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    Macaulay, Unemployed
  7. "He's taking those Wall Street fat cats down a peg of two by losing billions of their dollars in various moneymaking schemes."
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    Jill, Negligent Lifeguard
  8. "You see his dick? It's magnificent. That's a PRESIDENT's dick."
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    Marshall, Ambulance Chaser
  9. "I've always wanted a president who has surprisingly insightful views on how two decades of NAFTA have gutted the American working class, and the business acumen to sell steaks at an electronics store."
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    Carol, Bachelor Runner-Up
  10. "He's great for business."
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    Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, Despot