Trump Supporters Explain Why They're Still Voting For Him, In Their Own Words

  1. "I believe the first amendment protects me from having to learn what falafel is."
    Dale, Heterosexual Wedding Cake Baker
  2. "Tammy DeMico turned me down to prom junior year, so I kind of have a thing against women."
    Drew, Privilaged
  3. "I always wanted a candidate that matched the wisdom of 4Chan with the restraint of Kim Il Sung."
    Travis, Police Sketch
  4. "I'm really a part of the lizard-people conspiracy that wants to take over the world, and boy oh boy is this guy good at ushering in the apocalypse."
    Christine, Herpetologist
  5. "Who HASN'T said potentially career-ruining things to Billy Bush on the back of a bus?"
    Jayden, Astrology Enthusiast
  6. "I like that he's open and honest about his utter disdain for anyone that's not himself."
    Carl, Assembly Line Robot
  7. "I ran over a gypsy who was a huge fan of "The Apprentice" and got cursed to vote for him this election."
    Marvin, Realist
  8. "I mean, it's not like he's going to shoot himself in the dick eight or nine times before Election Day, right?"
    Angelo, Vaper