Trump Supporters React To Tonight's Election

  1. "Like most Michigan voters, I value Trump's honesty."
    Michael, Grand Wizard
  2. "It's like a history lesson come to life! Specifically, Germany between 1939-1945."
    Dale, Reenactor
  3. "He gave me $20 and the nuclear launch codes in return for an OTP handy, so he supports small business."
    Anna, Intelligence Analyst
  4. "Trump grabbed me right by the heart and wouldn't let go, no matter how many times I tearfully begged him to."
    Joe, Video Personality
  5. "Sometimes you just want to blow it all up and start over."
    Timothy, Security Guard
  6. "I heard that if you need help that you should tell the 911 operator you want to order pizza. So, I guess I want to order a pizza."
    Tiffany, Heiress
  7. (A series of unprintable racial and misogynistic slurs).
    Pepe, Hate Incarnate
  8. "Check Mate, dingleberries."
    Vladimir, Despot