What I Learned From Living as Queen Elizabeth Ii for a Week
As a social experiment, I decided I would like to know what it was like to live as popular monarch Queen Elizabeth II. Using the latest in science and medical technology, I was able to successfully transform myself into an elderly British royal for seven days. Here's what I learned
- •The before pictureMe in my everyday dress
- •The after picturePretty flawless transformation
- •You get to drink as much as you want and nobody can say shitWhen you're the queen, no bartender's cutting you off. After all, you can have them executed
- •They let you hunt one unicorn a weekTheir blood is silver, just like in Harry Potter!
- •You get to fuck Putin on the regBest part of being a queen is sticking it to Putin whenever you feel like it
- •Kids give you flowers for, like, no reasonJust out for a little stroll? BOOM! FLOWERS! Kids can't get enough of that shit
- •Your children are a disappointmentLook at these fucking rejects. I truly know shame now
- •Your grandchildren are an even bigger disappointmentWe used to have an EMPIRE, damn it. There's no way a baby in a dress is following in MY footsteps
- •Corgis are the real treasureAfter spending seven days reigning over the tatters of the British monarchy, I learned that the most important things in life have four legs and cute widdle tummies. Over all, a successful week of being the queen!